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Michelle Perez. 18.
Currently attending FSU.
Learning. Changing. Growing.
The Wonder Years<3
Musician in progress
When you realize…
That everything you thought you could do was just something.. you couldn’t.
“We’re human, that’s why”
That’s my answer to everything. I really feel like half the things I do I do because it’s almost built into me. I’m human, sometimes I forget that. I feel like I’m drowning in my own sorrows, not going anywhere. I forget that tomorrows a new day. I forget that I can’t do everything. I think it’s time.. to let go, start over, and see what happens. I just can’t let myself think the semester is over.. I can’t.
I woke up and told myself I would get something that saved my life.
My life is a roller coaster but who’s isn’t right?
In about a week I’m turning 19 and I think for the first time in years I’m not drinking or do anything
of that sort of thing. Lately, I’ve just been chilling. Maybe I’m not the most exciting person anymore
but I’m working on myself now. I need to change, I want to change. This week taught me a lot.
People just through their life away.
People are way to good to spend the rest of their life wasting in drugs, sex, and drinking. The reason
for this post is not to tell you to quit if this is you. Not that you are a bad person but to stop think, breathe, and ask yourself questions about your life…
these are just thoughts I have..
I think I want to do one thing. and it isnt to make myself “better” than anyone
in all reality i really don’t give a fucking shit what you do
But I do know that I’m killing myself
trying to do EVERYTHING
when in reality I’m only human, and I can only do so much,
this tattoo means so much to me
so much meaning behind it
I might look like an idiot but I know how I feel about a little part of my life,
In a few days ill be 19
and that my friends… is
going to change my life.
Best guy I’ve been lucky to run into in my life. I love him<3 (Taken with instagram)
Lost.
I’m basically just going to rant about what have been happening the last few days&weeks to me.
Everyday goes by and I don’t feel like I know who I am. For 3 days now I’ve been in bed, sleeping, trying to run away from the fear I have that I’m actually on my own. In a sense I have no one, no one can sit here and baby me until I decide to do everything. I have to get up and do what I gotta do but for some reason I can’t. I cannot find that reason to get up and live. The motivation I had before I came to school is gone. Do I even wanna be here? Am I even in the right major? I’m afraid I might be doing the wrong thing. I just wanna disappear, leave, without a trace, without anyone knowing who I even was. That’s selfish though, I have a little family I have to take care of. Nothing warms my heart then when I go home and my little sister runs into my arms, when my mum is smiling, when my best friends wanna kidnap me, when my brother chills with me, when everything that I once knew is back to normal. Here I don’t feel like they know me. I have brothers and sisters, but it’s like they judge. Everyone does. No one here can see that everyday I walk by is a cry for help. I have never wanted to just lay in bed till the days were over. My best friend here is someone who cares, who loves me, but doesn’t quite understand me yet. My best friend cannot spend their whole time trying to fix me and my problems when they have their own to fix. So then, what do I do? Where do I start? Where is the motivation that got me here? It’s in there somewhere but I cannot seem to find it. I look through the valley of darkness and I see no light. No reason to keep going. No Fuel. No love. I just wanna find that feeling of relief. Being able to breath and just keep going. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has gone through this but what now?
